62 KiB
The Bottom Floors of the Museum
This section lists all the exhibits on the 6th floor and below. That includes guest services, which is on the bottom floor. This section contains all the information you need to run the PCs through the bottom floor exhibits.
If the PCs decide to bypass one of these exhibits, that is fine, with one exception: the Dreaming Ghost. The PCs will need his help to solve problems in later chapters. Make sure the PCs meet the dreaming ghost. If necessary, rearrange and reposition the exhibits so that the PCs stumble upon him.
6th Floor: Harpy Eyrie
From the Guidebook:
The singing voice of the Harpy is magically beautiful, apparently a gift from a perverse elven god. It is quite difficult to listen to the song and enjoy it. If one isn’t getting one’s eyes scratched out by harpy talons, one is getting charmed off the edge of a cliff. It makes for a poor concert-going experience.
Fortunately, the harpies in our exhibit lived not far from a school of martial arts. They rapidly learned that fighting the monks was a mistake, so instead, the harpies would keep their distance and use their song.
This presents an opportunity for you. By donning one of the monk robes in the chest in guest services, you can trick the harpies into singing for you without physically attacking you. That only leaves the risk of getting charmed. That chest also contains a potion to help boost your will-power a little. With these aids, hopefully, you can enjoy the music the way the elven gods intended.
When Orethys captured some harpies to be in his museum, he also captured the cliffs that they live on. This makes for a rather large exhibit. The Harpy island spans the entire width of the cavern. The harpy exhibit is the entirety of the 6th floor of the museum. When the PCs first arrive in the museum, they are on the 5th floor, directly below the harpy exhibit.
When the PCs look upward, they see the harpy island hovering over their heads. They can see some flying creatures swooping out over the edges of the island, but it’s hard to get a good look. They probably won’t know that these are harpies until later.
The harpies serve an important purpose: they prevent upward travel until after the PCs are “ready for it.” To ascend to where the harpies are, the PCs will need some means of levitating or flying. To be able to defeat the harpies in combat, the PCs will need the monk robe and potion described in the blurb. Trying to get past the harpy exhibit without these items is extremely dangerous, as anyone on a rope is a sitting duck. But if you’re wearing the monk’s robe, the harpies won’t come near you - not even if you’re hanging from a rope.
Note: do not read any of the guidebook blurbs to the PCs until the PCs have a guidebook.
5th Floor: Tavern of the South Gate
From the Guidebook:
If you enjoy a good drinking contest, this is the tavern for you!
Be aware: Liver damage is a real possibility.
When the PCs materialize in the museum, they appear next to the Tavern of the South Gate. Therefore, the tavern is the exhibit that they’re most likely to interact with first. Because of that, it is important to roleplay the tavern very carefully.
Bart Wyntell spends his days in the Tavern of the South Gate. He makes his living by betting on drinking contests. He will challenge the PCs to a contest, but he won’t play unless they make a bet of at least 5gp. The “trick” is that he can drink an unlimited amount of liquor. Literally unlimited. We have no idea why this is the case, and he doesn’t know either. Doesn’t matter. He always wins drinking contests.
According to the Guidebook, Bart is the “point of interest” here. But for the PCs, the bartender Kellia Meeks is actually far more helpful. Kellia has been a bartender in the Tavern of the South Gate for quite a long time, and she gets a lot of planar travelers in her tavern. She likes to eavesdrop on stories about planar travel, and she knows all about the spells plane shift and sending. She can’t cast them, but she can advise the players that those are the spells they need if they want to escape from a demiplane.
When the PCs go in the front door, give Kellia’s opening speech: “You walk in, and you see a fairly typical bar. The bartender says: Heh, you guys don’t look like you’re from around here. Sit wherever you want, I’ll be with you in a moment.”
If the players sit down, say this, exactly: “The bartender walks over and says: I’m having a promotion where first-timers get a free drink. Just one drink, just this once. What can I get you?”
It is important to get these two lines just right, for reasons we’ll explain shortly.
If the PCs are in the tavern and there’s a lull in the conversation, Bart comes up to the PCs and says, “You guys want to try a little drinking challenge? I can out-drink anyone. You interested in a bet?” If the PCs play along, have a drinking contest. Partway through the challenge, Bart fumbles an entire flagon of beer on himself. He is soaking wet: that is important. Let the contest play out - by the end of the contest Bart is slurring and staggering, but he never goes down no matter how much alcohol he drinks. For details of the contest, you will have to improvise.
The above are the basics of what happens in the bar. But where it gets
interesting is when the PCs leave and come back. If they do, Kellia says
her opening speech, in exactly the same words, in exactly the same
tone of voice: “Heh, you guys don’t look like you’re from around here.
Sit wherever you want, I’ll be with you in a moment.” She continues:
“I’m having a promotion where first-timers get a free drink. Just one
drink, just this once. What can I get you?”
This behavior should seem extremely odd. The players will be wondering:
“does this bartender have a memory problem?” Which of course, she does:
she’s in stasis, and her mind has been reset back to the state it was in
when the PCs first arrived.
If the PCs had a drinking contest with Bart, have them make a perception roll, DC 8 (that’s so easy that at least one of the PCs should succeed - but making it a roll makes players think it’s important). When they succeed, point out to them: “Bart is no longer soaking wet.” If they talk to him, he is no longer slurring and staggering. His physical condition has been reset to the state it was in when the PCs first arrived.
What we’re trying to do here is expose the PCs to the strangeness of the stasis effect. We should really rub their faces in the fact that these two characters keep getting “reset” every time you leave and return. You should also look for opportunities to reset the bar itself. If the PCs break a chair, they return and the chair is fixed. If they empty a whiskey bottle, they return and the bottle is full. Look for opportunities to point such things out to the PCs.
If the PCs try to discuss this stuff with Kellia or Bart, they are met with disbelief. For example, if they say to Kellia “we were just here a minute ago,” she will say, “Don’t mess with me, I’ve never seen you before. I assure you, I’d notice a bunch of strange characters like you.”
If the PCs ask the bartender where they are - which seems likely, the PCs have just arrived in a demiplane they don’t recognize - then Kellia Meeks says, “You lost? Just go out the front door, turn right, follow gate street for about two blocks, and you’ll be at the south entrance to the city.” This answer is weird. The tavern is on a floating island. There’s a little chunk of cobblestone road out front, but it just leads off the edge of the floating island. Yet the bartender seems to think her tavern is still in a city. She seems to not be aware that anything is out of the ordinary.
If the PCs lead Kellia outside, and show her the floating islands, she says, “That’s weird, that definitely wasn’t like that before. There used to be a city here. I shouldn’t leave Bart alone with the liquor, he’ll drink it all - I need to go back inside.” Then she dashes back inside. She is very uncomfortable looking at anything that’s not on her island - the compulsion to ignore it is strong. She’s just looking for any excuse to look away from the floating islands.
If the PCs follow her back inside, she gives her opening speech again: “Heh, you guys don’t look like you’re from around here. Have a seat anywhere, I’ll be with you in a moment.” That should really drive the players nuts.
This bar is a good environment for the PCs to experiment with the stasis effect. Give them every opportunity.
Aside from just being a good place to learn about the stasis effect, the bar is also a good place to learn about the spells sending and plane shift.
If the PCs talk about the outlands, or being in a demiplane, or any other plane for that matter, Kellia overhears them talking about it, she comes over and asks “Are you guys planar travelers? I get a lot of you guys in here. Are you outsiders?” She is curious about planar travel. She injects herself into the conversation. She is happy to talk about such things. Look for excuses for Kellia to mention plane shift or sending. For example, she might say “How long have you guys been away from home? Doesn’t it get lonely? Do you use magic to talk to your families back home?” That could lead to a point where Kellia suggests casting sending.
It is difficult to discuss escape plans with Kellia. The problem is that she has a mental block against knowing she’s not at home any more. If you show her the floating islands, she gets agitated, runs back inside, and tends to reset. At some point, though, the PCs will get the stabilization iron, which can make it much easier to talk to Kellia (or any NPC). If they stabilize Kellia, she will lose the mental block and will be able to stand outside her tavern, talk about being stuck in a demiplane, and make plans to get home. If the PCs don’t think of stabilizing Kellia, they’ll just have to converse with Kellia without showing her that she’s trapped in a demiplane. It is perfectly possible to do that: just speak to her in generalities, she will be happy to discuss hypotheticals.
The tavern can also be a useful source of mundane supplies. There is a storeroom with plenty of food (the tavern serves dinner at night), and it also contains a bunch of odds and ends that can be used for repairing things around the bar. That includes about 50 feet of rope, which might turn out to be useful. Getting Kellia to part with these items might take some creative deception (or money).
Speaking of money: any coins the PCs spend in the museum will eventually “reset” back to where the PCs first appeared in the museum. If the PCs travel the museum and spend money in some exhibits, and then they return to the tavern of the south gate, they will find their coins scattered on the ground just outside the tavern. In planescape, gold coins are minted by organizations all over the multiverse. Every gold coin has somebody’s face on it, or the holy symbol of a temple, or something to indicate where the coin was minted. When the PCs find their coins on the ground, point out that the coins were minted in the PC’s hometown. These aren’t somebody else’s gold coins: these are the coins that the PCs brought into the museum, and they can be identified as such by the faces on the coins.
Kellia can be a useful source of information and supplies. But even more important than that, she can be an NPC that the players care about. But you should play her in such a way as to make the players like her. When players care about NPCs, it makes them feel invested in the world and what happens to it.
5th Floor: Golden Goats
From the Guidebook:
These goats come from the slopes of Mount Olympus, at an elevation where the cold forces them to grow thick, lustrous coats. But most remarkable is the fact that the divine nature of Mount Olympus has caused these goats to evolve hair made from real Gold. The sight of a tribe of these goats is breathtaking.
Some of our more enterprising guests have attempted to shear the goats. Be warned: goats can be ornery. Also remember: is is physically impossible to remove a piece of an exhibit from the demiplane. If you attempt to plane shift away with a pocket full of pure gold hair, then when you go home, you will find your pocket to be empty. Perhaps shearing the goats is an exercise best left to the imagination.
You can fight the goats to get some hair, but this is largely pointless. The total value of the hair is only about 100 gp. Like almost everything taken from an exhibit, it vanishes after an hour or two, or upon leaving the museum.
There is nothing particularly useful about the golden goat exhibit. But there’s some important information in the blurb: it is physically impossible to remove a piece of an exhibit from the demiplane, even using plane shift. This will be important later.
4th Floor: Library of Dame Kenere
From the Guidebook:
Dame Kenere once possessed one of the finest personal libraries in the multiverse. Now that library is part of the Museum!
Of particular interest are the books that she authored herself. Some people say that there’s nothing safe to eat in the Abyss. That’s mostly true. But where there’s a will, there’s a way. For decades, Dame Kenere has been writing survival books about how to find food in the most hostile environments.
Her manor also contains her butler, who can be a bit of a nuisance. If you tell him you work for Shiny Stone Publishing House, and are there to read her latest manuscript, he’ll leave you alone with her books. Or you can just chop his head off, but if you do, you’ll have to repeat the process every fifteen minutes.
This exhibit consists of Lord Kenere’s manor. The only thing of any real interest inside the manor is the library. The library does indeed contain a large collection of abyssal recipe books. Here’s an example entry:
The Plane of Thorns - on this plane, it is possible to hunt meat, which does provide nutrition. But eating local meat will almost immediately cause a burning rash in the back of the throat, which can only be eased by drinking water. Surprisingly, water found here is safe to drink, and it does provide relief from the burning. But the relief is short-lived, lasting only seconds. Consuming the water continuously to neutralize the itch leads to constant urination, which in turn leads to burning in the nether regions. The key to avoiding this cycle is to learn how to properly neutralize the meat before eating it. Doing so requires a mixture which can be concocted from local flora.”
It is not likely that Dame Kenere’s recipes are of any immediate use to the PCs. The real utility of Dame Kenere’s library is that the PCs can research almost anything here. Of particular relevance is a book called “An Index of the Spells of the Multiverse.” The author of this book wrote down summary descriptions of every spell he could find. The book doesn’t teach you how to cast spells - it’s just a listing of spell names and spell descriptions. In particular, it is possible to look up sending and plane shift.
If they players do look up sending and plane shift, give them the spell descriptions from the players handbook. Tell them that they should read the descriptions very carefully. Tell them that to succeed at escaping the museum, they will need to truly understand the spells they are trying to use. This is actually only half-true. They will have many more opportunities to learn about the limitations of these spells, so it isn’t crucial that they learn now. But they will enjoy the campaign more if they feel like they have a handle on how things work and what’s going on.
There is one problem with accessing Dame Kenere’s library: the butler, Nolan Levant. He opens the door, and asks the PCs what they want. For almost all possible answers, he replies: “I’m sorry gentlemen, Dame Kenere is not interested. Goodbye.” Then he slams the door. Because he is in stasis, he immediately forgets doing this. If the PCs knock again, he will open the door again in the exact same way, and ask the PCs what they want, in exactly the same way. Again, for almost all possible replies, he says “I’m sorry gentlemen, Dame Kenere is not interested. Goodbye.”
There is really only one thing that can get him to take interest: if the PCs claim to be from Shiny Stone Publishing, then Mr. Levant will hesitate for a moment. This is the course of action recommended by the guidebook. But there’s a catch: Mr Levant will take one look at the PCs, and say, “Gentlemen, you give the impression of being mercenaries, not publishers. My apologies if I am mistaken, but I cannot let you in.” Then he slams the door again.
To actually get in the front door, the PCs will have to do all of the following:
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They have to claim to be from Shiny Stone Publishing.
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They have to look like professional publishers, not mercenaries (ie,
not armed to the teeth).
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They must convince Mr Levant that they have an appointment.
The deception is quite difficult. The PCs may have to hide some of their group members (the ones who can’t look normal), and they may have to “borrow” some clothes from another exhibit. They will also have to choose their words carefully. Fortunately, the PCs can try over and over, because Mr Levant is in stasis and doesn’t remember anything. If the PCs fail to convince him, they can simply alter their approach and try again.
The other approach to dealing with Mr. Levant is to kill him or tie him up. He’s not good at combat - he’s a butler. He fights with a dagger. He doesn’t know how to use defensive stances: he attacks all-out, which means he usually hits, but he leaves himself wide open. If he hits, he does 3HP of damage. He rarely survives long enough for a second attack.
When he dies, which should happen quickly, he will respawn elsewhere in the mansion 15 minutes later. When he sees the PCs in his house, he attacks again. The downside of this approach is that the PCs will probably have to fight Nolan several times, and these repeated fights will slowly chip away 3HP here, and 3HP there. But this is a feasible approach, if it’s your style.
Much later in the campaign, the PCs will be visiting a plane of the abyss. Perhaps they will remember the recipes of Dame Kenere. Dame Kenere herself was not captured into the museum. She continued writing books, and those books can be found in libraries all over the multiverse.
Because Dame Kenere was never captured into the museum, she is still “out there” in the multiverse. That means that when the players finally gain the ability to cast sending, they have the option of trying to contact Dame Kenere. If they do, they will successfully reach her, and she will respond that her mansion disappeared sixty years ago. She is now very elderly, 101 years old. She is no longer able to help in person. However, she says she will contact some powerful friends and that a rescue attempt will be arranged. She says the PCs should sit tight and wait to be contacted again. The upshot is that just like contacting any other friend, contacting Dame Kenere will lead to a rescue party being sent.
4th Floor: Breakneck Chariot
From the Guidebook:
Here’s a fun money-making scheme: build the fastest chariot in existence, then charge people for rides. Now that the chariot is part of my museum, you get to experience the joy and terror of it!
Of course, it’s not really the fastest chariot in existence - that’s just marketing - but it is hellaciously fast. It feels even faster because you feel like you’re definitely going to die.
A ranger named Viggart was traveling through the feywild when he was set upon by a half-dozen quicklings. This turned out to be a mistake on the quicklings’ part. Viggart killed several of them, and the quicklings fled. But Viggart wasn’t satisfied. He hunted the quicklings back to their home base, snuck in, and drugged their wine. When the quicklings were all unconscious, he bound them, threw them in his saddlebags, and carried them home. In this way, he collected two dozen squirming quicklings.
When he got home, Viggart’s wife was furious - she demanded to know exactly what he intended to do with several bags full of angry quicklings. Viggart thought fast, and a money-making scheme was born. Viggart had a friend build a kart and yoke, and the quicklings were bound into servitude, as “horses” for a racing kart. The yoke has four rows of six quicklings: 24 total.
Needless to say, the quicklings are not happy with this state of affairs, but there’s not much they can do about it. Viggart keeps them under control primarily by binding them tightly to the yoke: it is a rigid design that keeps them physically in front of the chariot while still allowing them to move their feet and hands. Viggart can also pull a “choke-rope” which is tied to the quicklings’ necks, to motivate them to cooperate.
At night, the quicklings discuss their escape plans. They have two ideas. First idea: if one of them could just grab a knife from somewhere, they’re sure they could cut their neighbor free from the harness. Then, they could hand the knife to the freed quickling, who could (very quickly) free more. From there, all hell would break loose.
Second idea: if they could get Viggart to fall off the chariot, then they could all just start running. They could be half a mile away (with the chariot) before Viggart could even pick himself up. With no Viggart to pull on the choke-rope, they’re pretty sure they could find a sharp rock or something and cut themselves free.
When the PCs look down at the exhibit, they see a barn. In front of the barn is a packed earth road that snakes around and then comes back to where it started. It also has a branch that leads right off the edge of the exhibit.
The dirt road is a racetrack, and the barn is being used as a parking garage. The barn contains the chariot, the quicklings, Viggart, and a paying passenger named Althune. They are getting ready to go for a ride. Viggart has to do many preparatory steps: Althune must be given a briefing, and then Althune must be strapped to the chariot so that he doesn’t fall off. Viggart doesn’t need straps, he has done this enough times to be able to keep his footing.
All the players see when looking down is the dirt road, the barn, grass, and a scattering of trees. The best place to climb down (a place where a rope can be tied to a tree) leads the players descending to a spot just inside the racetrack. Nothing interesting happens until they are on the exhibit. Suddenly, they hear the quicklings shrieking, a clattering of wood on dirt, and Althune yelling his head off, and they see the entire contraption hurtling down the track. The quicklings are not a blur - they’re encumbered by the kart, so they’re not moving as fast as usual. The PCs can clearly see what’s coming at them.
The quicklings also see the PCs and they immediately recognize that they’re armed. This is the perfect opportunity to grab a dagger and execute their escape plan. The quicklings steer the cart directly toward the PCs - the plan is just to ram the party at speed. You see, the kart is going “fast” from the perspective of a human, but it’s not especially fast to a quickling. The quicklings are sure that as the PCs are bowled over, they will be able to pick up weapons dropped by the PCs.
When the cart goes off-road, Viggart starts yanking on the choke-rope, but the quicklings stubbornly keep going: this is their one and only shot.
The PCs have one melee round to prepare before the kart crashes into the party. If the PC are bunched up, the kart will ram the party as a whole. If they’re spread out, the kart will pick the biggest bunch of PCs and ram that bunch. The kart is 10 feet wide at its widest point (the front of the yoke).
The PCs who are rammed must make a DEX save DC13. Any PC who succeeds is next to the kart, rather than in front of it. The quicklings will reach out and try to grab a weapon from such a PC. They will not attempt to wrestle a weapon out of a PC’s hand: the quicklings are not strong enough to win a tug-of-war. But if the PC has a small sharp weapon (dagger, shortsword, ninja star) that is still in a holster, a quickling will easily grab it. Large weapons are too much for the quicklings - they can’t grab longswords or larger. The quicklings have no interest in bows or other weapons that they can’t use to cut themselves free.
Any PC who fails his DEX save against being rammed is knocked prone and trampled, taking D4 damage. Such a PC is also subjected to the quickling weapon-grab attempt. But they might also drop their weapon, DEX save DC 13, which would give the quicklings an additional opportunity to grab a weapon without a tug-of-war.
Any quickling who has a weapon gets one of the following actions on his turn:
- If the quickling is still tied to the kart, the quickling will cut
himself free.
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- If the choke-rope is intact, the quickling will cut the choke-rope.
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- Otherwise, the quickling will cut one other quickling free.
Any quickling who is free and who does not have a weapon can try to grab one.
If the plan to grab a weapon fails, the quicklings may at your discretion bring the kart around and try again. But this time, the DEX saves are only DC10, because the PCs know what to expect.
If three or more quicklings get weapons, they’ll immediately try to stab Viggart to death, and will very likely be successful - Viggart doesn’t have his weapons on him.
If the plan to grab a weapon is a total failure, the quicklings will go for plan B: crash the cart into a tree, knocking Viggart off. Then, they’ll try to head for the hills, but they will stop short at the edge of the exhibit. When they realize a chasm prevents them from leaving, they’ll turn around and try to run Viggart over with the kart, as many times as possible.
If Viggart is killed and all the quicklings get free, then the quicklings will begin mocking the PCs for being so slow and stupid. Eventually, they’ll lose interest in this and will grab some rope from the Kart, and escape from the edge of the island.
The quicklings are highly atypical in that they are willing to leave their exhibit. Most museum NPCs have a mental block against leaving their exhibit. The quicklings have that mental block too, but the quicklings were desperate to escape from Viggart long before they were captured into the museum, and escaping from Viggart necessarily means they have to leave Viggart’s island. Their intense desire to escape overrides their mental block against leaving their island. If the quicklings do escape into the museum, they will eventually reset back to being in their own exhibit.
The only thing really useful about this exhibit to the PCs is the supplies it contains. For example, the kart’s “choke-rope” is actually 25 separate lightweight but strong ropes that go to 25 quickling necks. The total amount of rope is 25 x 6 feet = 150 feet of rope. That’s enough rope to descend 5 floors of the museum. Viggart’s shed may also contain a variety of other shed-typical items, at your discretion.
If the PCs leave the exhibit and come back, then naturally, everything will be back in the shed where it all started. One way to avoid having to fight the kart again is to simply time it so that the PCs don’t climb onto the exhibit until the race is done and the kart is reentering the shed. That will give a full 20 minutes before the cycle repeats. Another way to avoid the confrontation is to yell to Viggart “don’t start racing, there’s an obstacle on the track,” or something to that effect.
3rd Floor: Claren’s Tapestries
From the Guidebook:
Take it from me, making magic items is hard. So I always find it amazing when people can craft magic items without even trying.
Claren weaves tapestries, and when she’s done, the tapestries can create remarkable phantasms. Those phantasms can persist in the physical world. Try it out! Surprisingly, the phantasms are more stable than other items taken from exhibits.
Claren Lusk is a weaver who makes tapestries, and she invests a lot of effort into each one. Her tapestries are magical. If you stare at one for several minutes, you will find yourself in a dream-like trance where you think you are “inside” the tapestry. This is just an illusion. You are still actually sitting on a chair in front of the tapestry, staring at the tapestry, but the illusion feels real to you. If two people both stare at the tapestry at the same time, then both people can enter the tapestry-dream at the same time.
When you’re experiencing the illusion, you feel like you’re in a world made of woven fabric. Even though things look like fabric, they work like normal items. For example, a soup bowl that looks like it’s made of fabric can still sit upright on the table and hold soup. The soup itself looks like yarn, but you can eat it and it tastes like soup.
Anything pictured in the tapestry can be explored. For example, if the tapestry shows a cabin, then you can enter the cabin, and there’s normal furniture in the cabin, even though the inside of the cabin wasn’t visible from “outside” the tapestry.
The tapestries all have fringes around the edge. If you are inside a tapestry, and you walk outside the area which is pictured in the tapestry, you find yourself in a “grassy” but otherwise empty field, where the grass is actually tapestry fringes. From there, you can easily walk back to the area pictured in the tapestry.
To exit the illusion, all you have to do is tell the DM that you want to go back to reality. Just wanting it makes it happen. When you exit, anything that you were holding in the illusion is still in your hands. For example, suppose you’re in a tapestry, in a cabin, eating soup, and you decide you want to exit the illusion. You find yourself back on the chair in front of the tapestry, but now you’re holding a fabric bowl of soup. The bowl, which is now in your hands, is an illusion/phantasm. However, everyone in the room can now see it, and they can taste the soup if they want. If you bring a tool out of the tapestry, it is solid enough to actually be used as a tool.
Phantasms stick around for anywhere from 6 hours to 3 days, depending on how emotionally invested you are in them. Mundane household objects typically don’t create emotional investment, so they usually last about 6 hours.
Many of the tapestries contain living animals - squirrels, birds, butterflies, the like. Sometimes a small animal will exit the tapestry with you, depending on the situation. The animal will be drawn to the person who conjured it and will stay nearby. The animal is, for all practical purposes, alive. It will vanish in the same 6 hours to 3 days time frame.
Claren’s tapestries do not contain any people. This is deliberate on Claren’s part. She does not want to know what would happen if she caused a fabric person to exist, she dreads the thought of creating an intelligent person with a 6-hour lifespan.
It is possible to hurt yourself inside a tapestry, but the damage vanishes when you exit.
Claren’s shop is a well-built, well-maintained wooden building. The inside is single large room, which is a gallery. All of the walls are covered in tapestries, and in front of the tapestries are wooden benches. In the middle of the room is a work area consisting of a large loom and work-table covered in yarns and paper sketches. Claren is at the loom, working.
Claren is an aged elven woman. Her demeanor is gracious and warm, but she is also serious about selling tapestries, she wants to make a sale. This is difficult for her - even though the tapestries are amazing, they’re also expensive, and there just aren’t that many people who can afford them. She evaluates the PCs and if they don’t seem like people who can afford magic tapestries, she may get a little impatient.
When the PCs enter, Claren says, “Here to buy tapestries?” If the PCs say yes, she says “Why don’t you try them out - sit on a bench, and just gaze at one for a while. Don’t worry, the effect is safe.” If the PCs conjure a phantasmal object, Claren says “Keep it, it’s yours. It will vanish in a few hours, though.” If the PCs say they’re thinking about buying and they’ll come back later, Claren is fine with that.
Claren has no idea how she does what she does. It just happens. If the PCs discuss something other than tapestries with Claren, she’s an intelligent woman who can discuss a variety of subjects. Feel free to give her a detailed backstory, and an interesting personality.
The following tapestries are present in the gallery, among others:
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A cute log cabin on a hill overlooking a beach, with seagulls.
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A well in a clearing in the woods, with sunlight streaming through
the trees.
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An apple orchard, with ladders, fruit baskets, a cart, a wooden
fence, and more.
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Waves crashing on a rocky shore, with a scraggly tree.
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A view of a forest from on top of one of the trees, with
butterflies.
Claren’s tapestries is here as a catch-all place where PCs can find objects that they need. If there’s some specific object the PCs have been looking for, then you have the option of adding a tapestry to the list, in order to give the PCs the item they want.
In the gallery is an aarakocra named Algion. He is mesmerized, staring at the forest/butterfly tapestry. Tapping him on the shoulder doesn’t wake him up. To get his attention, you have to enter the tapestry with him.
Algion is a medium-wealthy merchant who is in the business of transporting wines. He’s friendly and curious, and he likes nice things. He is a potentially useful NPC because he can fly, which means that he can facilitate travel upward in the museum. Algion can’t carry a PC (not strong enough), but he can carry a rope upward, tie it to a tree, and dangle it down for the PCs to climb up.
If you encourage Algion to come with you, he is initially enthusiastic: it sounds like fun! But as soon as he sees the edge of the exhibit, the mental block kicks in. He freaks out and returns to the building, then his memory resets, forgetting that anything happened. This is utterly unproductive.
However, later in the campaign, the PCs will discover a magic item called the “stabilization iron” which prevents objects from resetting, and a “potion of willpower” that gives a +5 to wisdom saves. The stabilization iron can be used on Algion, this prevents his memory from resetting. He still freaks out at the edge of the exhibit, but when he returns to the building, he says, “That was weird. I felt like I was compelled to turn around, like I was under the effect of a charm spell forcing me to turn around. Let me try again.” Then he goes back to the edge again, and he tries to grit his teeth and overcome the compulsion. But moments later, he turns around again and reenters the building, and he says, “Ugh, that magical compulsion is strong! I don’t know what to do.” At this point, if the PCs think of giving Algion the potion of willpower, then Algion will be able to overcome the magical compulsion.
Once you do both of these things, Algion can join the party. He is surprisingly good at taking the strangeness of the museum in stride. Apparently, Algion is a person who is comfortable with change. Algion is curious about the museum and is happy to explore with the PCs. He is not a combatant, he will not fight.
3rd Floor: Wasted Wino
From the Guidebook:
Take it from me, making magic items is hard. I always find it amazing when people can craft magic items without even trying. But Rixmort is the only person I’ve ever found who can make a magic item in less than a minute.
He’s a bartender, and when he improvises, you never know what the drinks are going to do.
Rixmort is a green slaad bartender. The sign over the front door of his bar says: “The Wasted Wino: a Purveyor of Artisan Cocktails.” The bar used to be in Acheron before it was pulled into the museum. Rixmort can indeed make drinks with magical effects. However, it’s not because he’s an amazing bartender. It’s because he sometimes spits in the drinks. When he does spit in the drinks, some of his chaos essence mixes with the alcohol making a potion.
Rixmort is pretty good at sleight-of-hand, so he usually manages to spit without anyone noticing (Orethys didn’t notice). He only does this when he’s in the mood to be funny, and he doesn’t care at all what his patrons want him to do.
The potions aren’t especially useful magic items, though, for one reason: the ‘identify’ spell identifies the drink as a “potion with a random effect.” That’s all that the identify spell tells you. The reason for this is that the chaos essence that makes them work is constantly shifting and changing, so the potion might be a potion of giant strength one minute, and a potion of water breathing the next minute. You have to roll randomly at the moment the person drinks it.
Rixmort is a terrible bartender. He just mixes ingredients randomly, and the taste is usually disgusting. However, he does always include a lot of alcohol. No matter what you order, he just gives you whatever he feels like giving you. But, in Acheron, most people don’t really care. They’re there for the alcohol, and the entertainment value of seeing the random potion effects.
The bar is usually pretty busy, but in order to capture the bar into the museum, though, Orethys had to clear out the patrons, so in the museum, the bar is empty except for Rixmort.
Rixmort is useless at conversation. No matter what you say to him, he immediately goes off on a tangent, and then goes off on another tangent, ad infinitum. To make matters worse, he uses pronouns in a confusing way. For example, if you say, “which way to the bathroom,” he might say, “You see that hallway, with the paintings of mushrooms? They [mushrooms] go great in kobold stew, you should simmer it a long time. They [kobolds] buy a lot more drinks than you would think for their size.”
If for some irrational reason the PCs decide to fight Rixmort, use the standard green slaad stat block.
Rixmort serves no real purpose in this chapter other than just to entertain the PCs.
3rd Floor: Orb Conclave
From the Guidebook:
One large hovering eyeball, and ten small hovering eyeballs.
Although it doesn’t look like a beholder, I’m pretty sure this thing is beholder-kin, because of its eye rays. If aggravated, it will attack you with death, disintegration, telekinesis, charm, sleep… and an anti-magic cone from the large eye. That combination of rays just screams “beholder.”
The personality, however, is very unlike a normal beholder. I find that it just looks at me, impassively, no matter what I do - unless I touch it or attack it, in which case it rains death. I advise you to leave it alone unless you are prepared to deal with its destructive energies.
I would love to know what this thing is thinking, why it exists, or what its purpose is. But I can’t get any reaction, other than staring and all-out attack.
The orb conclave doesn’t look like a beholder, because its “body” just consists of the eyes. There is no mouth, no skin, no scales, no eyestalks. Just hovering eyes. Each eye looks like a perfect white sphere with an iris and cornea, but nothing else - no optic nerve, no veins, no imperfections.
If an eye is captured and dissected, the inside is just clear jelly, with no retina, no blood vessels, nothing that would suggest that this being has any kind of biology. It is more the abstract impression of an eye, than an actual eye from a living animal.
The orb conclave is hovering calmly above a patch of icy tundra. It is quite cold, but the PCs don’t need protective equipment for a short visit, it’s not that cold. It is rare to find a beholder outside of an extremely well-defended lair, but this entity doesn’t seem to be in any kind of lair, and it isn’t surrounded by defenses. This is very atypical of beholders.
Talking to the orb conclave has no effect - it stares, but it doesn’t respond. Telepathic contact is possible, making it obvious that the entity has a mind, and that it is receiving your message, but it doesn’t respond. Spells like message provoke no reaction other than staring. It will look at visual illusions, making it clear that it can see them, but again, no response.
Doing damage to the orb conclave, or even just physically touching it with your hand, will provoke an all-out attack. Likewise, spells that alter the orb conclave without doing damage, such as a shrinking spell, or a teleport spell, will provoke an attack. Provoking an attack is the only way to get the conclave to move.
Spells that don’t do damage, and which don’t directly affect the orb conclave, may or may not provoke an attack. For example, if you were to cause it to rain, that would not damage it, but it might provoke an attack - but that’s not 100% certain. Or, it might just hover calmly in the rain.
Normally, the smaller eyes hover about three feet of the large central eye, moving in a slow dance around the central eye. But if attacked, the eyes will spread out. They can spread to any distance away from the central eye - they can move around the area as individuals. Spreading out is a tactic to protect against area-of-effect attacks.
Eyes can be destroyed in a fight. Each eye can survive on its own, even if the large central eye is destroyed. If the orb conclave appears to be losing a fight, the eyes will flee, they will all go in different directions in order to make it difficult for the party to catch them all. If any one eye survives, the orb conclave survives. The remaining eyes will regroup, and then they will slowly conjure more eyes at a rate of 1 small eye per day, and then another 5 days for the large central eye, until the orb conclave is fully regenerated.
If the PC provoke a fight, use the standard beholder stat block, with the following alterations:
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The eyes move independently, and can fan out around the room.
Although the eyes appear independent, they act collectively, like a beholder. They only get one collective initiative roll. Like a beholder, the OC fires three rays per turn. Like a beholder, it chooses its attacks unpredictably.
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Each small eye has 5 hit points. The large eye has 50 hit points.
The PCs must specify which eye they are attacking. If they destroy an eye, the OC is still alive, but it (obviously) cannot use that eye any more. As long as the OC has at least three eyes remaining, then it will continue to make 3 ray attacks per turn.
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Each small eye has a different color: charm=pink, paralyzing=purple,
fear=green, slowing=brown, enervation=blue, telekinesis=yellow, sleep=white, petrification=grey, disintegration=red, death=black. This makes it possible for the PCs to announce, “I am attacking the red eye.”
The orb conclave does not hold a grudge. If you attack it, leave, and then return later, it will just stare at you as it stares at everyone. This is not just because of the stasis effect, this is how the OC would act if it were somehow released into the multiverse.
The orb conclave is indeed beholder-kin. It was generated during a strange dream of a particularly odd beholder. At the time of this writing, there is only one orb conclave in the multiverse. So far, nobody has figured out what it is thinking of, why it stares, or why it doesn’t respond.
If the PCs fight the orb conclave, given that the PCs are low-level, it seems likely that the creature will annihilate the PCs almost immediately. If that occurs, the PCs will respawn in the same way that they would for any other death in the museum. The OC is much weaker than a normal beholder, though, in that it is sometimes possible to destroy an eye in a single hit (only 5 HP). If the PCs are smart and target the most dangerous eyes first, they may be victorious.
If the PCs provoke an attack and then attempt to flee, the conclave will not leave its floating island. It is bound by the rule that all museum NPCs refuse to pay attention to things outside their exhibit.
In the unlikely event that the PCs do substantial harm to the orb conclave, the conclave flees, scattering in all directions. In this event, the conclave will leave its exhibit. It doesn’t want to pay attention to things outside its exhibit, but if its life is on the line, it will overcome that hesitation. In this event, the conclave doesn’t need to regenerate in the way that it normally does. Instead, the stasis effect of the museum will respawn the conclave in its original condition in its original location in a matter of an hour or so.
The PCs can learn from this exhibit: they can learn that death in the museum is not permanent, and that they respawn back at the Tavern of the South Gate.
2nd Floor: Dreaming Ghost
From the Guidebook:
A shack with a man asleep on a bed. Nothing much to see… unless you wake him up. Then, there’s even less to see. If you wake him, he vanishes, and he will reappear, asleep, about 15 minutes later.
I cannot figure out what is happening here. I’ve included him in the museum as a curiosity. If you figure out what’s causing this, let me know. - Orethys
Here’s what’s happening here: the sleeper, a man named Johann, enjoyed sleeping and dreaming so much that he made a deal with a powerful fey creature. He would gain the ability to explore other people’s dreams, and affect them. The price he paid, however, is that he lost the ability to enter the waking world, and affect the waking world.
For Johann, being in the museum has been a boon. His physical body is in stasis, he cannot age, and his shack and bed need no maintenance. But his mind is not in stasis - because his mind is not in the museum. It roams the planes, visiting the minds of other dreamers throughout the multiverse. This has worked out to Johann’s liking.
If you wake up Johann, he vanishes. But he knows he has been awakened, and he knows which PC did it. The next time that PC takes a long rest, the PC has a dream:
The sleeping man from the shack is walking toward you - you recognize him. He stops in front of you, and he says, “Did you want something? You tried to wake me up, when I was sleeping in my shack.”
At this point, the PC can have a dream-conversation with Johann.
Johann knows a trick: he can make you have a lucid dream. That way, the PC can have a clearheaded conversation with Johann, and remember it in the morning. The PC can say whatever he wants to Johann, and ask questions. Johann is willing to have a nice chat. Johann explains that his existence is just exploring the dreams of people all over the multiverse. If the PCs ask for specifics, Johann laughs and says, “oh, you know how dreams are. A lot of crazy stuff.”
Johann is potentially quite useful to the PCs. One of the things that the PCs need to do to escape the museum is to call for help, using the spell sending. But there is an alternative to casting sending. You can ask Johann to visit somebody in their dreams. Johann can deliver a message for you. He asks no payment for this, he’s happy to help.
There is a catch, though: most people don’t pay much attention to their dreams. You will need to send the message to somebody who is in the habit of listening to their dreams, otherwise the message won’t be acted on. In general, priests are a good choice in the D&D universe. Gods often communicate with their servants in dreams, so priests try to remember their dreams. Another good choice would be a fortune-teller or soothsayer - they take signs and portents seriously.
After Johann tries to deliver a message, Johann will once again enter the PC’s dreams. He will report on whether or not he was successful on getting a message through. If the recipient was paying attention to their dream, Johann will know. He will tell the PCs that their message got through. But if the recipient was the kind of person who ignores their dreams, Johann will apologize, saying “some people just don’t put much stock in dreams, there’s not much I can do about that.”
The PCs will need Johann’s help not just in the museum, but in later chapters. Make sure that you roleplay Johann in a particularly friendly and outgoing manner. Make sure the PCs get to know him a little. If necessary, make Johann a little nosy - he pops into their dreams whether the PCs call for him or not.
2nd Floor: Reggie’s Boots
From the Guidebook:
Take it from me, making magic items is hard. So I always find it amazing when people can craft magic items without even trying.
Reggie Drum’s family thought he was a normal human child. They were wrong: Reggie’s mother had been deceived by a clever fae, and Reggie was conceived. The wild magic of faerie runs in his blood. Yet, he has the most boring life imaginable. His father was a shoemaker, and Reggie was apprenticed at an early age. He spent his days sitting in a gray room, making shoe after shoe after shoe.
The enchantment of faerie calls to Reggie, but he loves his family, and his sense of duty is strong. So he stays in his shop, and provides for his family. But while he works, his mind drifts. Reggie does not deliberately enchant the boots he makes. He simply allows his hands to craft, while his mind wanders to the fey realms.
Reggie’s workshop is a sturdy building on a cobblestone street. The door has a sign that just says “Boots and shoes, Reasonable prices, Please come in.” Inside is a workshop: a big workbench, piles of leather and catgut, lots of tools in good condition. It’s obvious that Reggie is making good money. Reggie’s bedroom is upstairs. Reggie is standing by a bench, working on a pair of boots.
Reggie is all business. When the PCs walk in, Reggie doesn’t even look up, he just says, “Here for quality shoes, or magical shoes?” If the PCs say “quality,” Reggie says, again without looking up, “rack’s over there, try them on until you find a pair you want.” The rack is full of normal shoes. If the PCs say “magical,” however, Reggie finally looks up. He says, “They’re expensive. You have money?”
All of Reggie’s boots, even the so-called “non magical” ones, have one minor effect: if you’re wearing them, your legs never get tired. You can be on your feet all day. In addition to this one minor effect, Reggie has a few pairs of boots with major effects:
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Boots of Speed. 4000 gp.
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Boots of Elvenkind. 2500 gp.
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Boots of Levitation. 4000 gp.
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Boots of Striding and Springing. 5000 gp.
The boots of levitation can be used to climb upward in the museum. These are important quest items.
The boots are all very expensive - the PCs do not have the money to buy a pair of boots. If one of the PCs drew the Gem card from the deck, they may have gems worth thousands of GP. But if they show the gems to Reggie, he says, “I don’t know anything about appraising gems. I have no idea what those are worth. Go sell them to a jeweler and bring me gold coins. I won’t accept anything other than gold.”
Some PCs might think about raiding other exhibits to get the coin. That is impractical. There are very few exhibits that have a lot of gold pieces. Remember also that items taken from exhibits are transient, and will vanish in an hour or two - and scraping together thousands of GP by finding 50 gp here, 50 gp there would take a very long time. You can stabilize gold coins using the stabilization iron (see the chapter on Magic Items of the Museum), but if you do that, every coin will have a glyph on it. Merchants are always on the lookout for conjured coins that might vanish when the conjuration spell wears off, so they carefully look for warning signs that suggest that a coin might be of magical origins. A glyph is a huge red flag that would make any merchant refuse to accept coins.
Like it or not, if the PCs want the boots, they’ll have to steal them. Of course, it’s not really immoral to steal the boots: they are just going to reappear in the exhibit anyway. Reggie will be completely unaffected by the theft. If necessary, point this out to your players.
The magical boots are not out in the open. Reggie doesn’t want people stealing his boots, and he figures the best way to avoid the problem is if people don’t know where the boots are. They are under some floorboards, under a cabinet. If you pay for some boots, Reggie will ask you to step outside for 5 minutes. Then he will lock the door, retrieve the boots from under the floorboards, unlock the door, and hand the boots to you. If you say you won’t pay without seeing the boots, he says, “Anyone in town will tell you I’m honest. Go ask around, and when you trust me, come back.”
Here are some things the PCs can do:
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There are windows in the shop. It is possible to spy on Reggie. When
he finishes the boots he’s working on, he stashes them under the floorboards.
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If you can get Reggie to be fatigued, he will go to his bedroom and
take a nap.
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It is possible to kill Reggie, but he’s a tough opponent.
If the PCs decide to fight Reggie, he’s a fourth-level fighter with a longsword and leather armor. He is wearing “Boots of Kicking and Jumping.” These boots grant two useful abilities:
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As a bonus action, after attacking with his longsword, Reggie can
also kick with the boots for 1D6 damage. He can kick any target, it does not necessarily need to be the same target he attacked with the longsword. He can do this every melee round.
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As a bonus action, Reggie can take the dodge, disengage, or dash
action. If he uses this ability, his jump distance is also doubled. After using this ability, Reggie cannot use it again for two melee rounds.
To get the boots, the PCs will need to execute an interesting heist. Let them plan anything they want. You will have to improvise the layout of Reggie’s workshop. Note that fighting Reggie doesn’t automatically get you the boots: you’ll still have to find them.
1st Floor: Tiny Men
From the Guidebook:
Most people think sprites are the smallest humanoids. Turns out, that’s not even close. I don’t know what these things are called, but they’re less than two inches tall. (They’re hiding in the rocks.)
The ground on this floating island is very rocky terrain. Cut into some of the bedrock rocks are small caves, with wooden doors. The doors are only about three inches high, and they’re positioned to make them hard to notice. When the PCs first arrive, describe the island as “completely empty, except for dirt and rocks.” Only if the PCs get down on hands and knees and root among the rocks do they notice the doors.
Behind the doors are a miniature cave system containing tiny men. They are a primitive hunter-gatherer society. If you manage to get them out of their holes, and do something about the language barrier, you can talk to them about hunting insects and foraging for seeds. They don’t have much else to say. The tiny men are not important to the main quest.
What makes this island interesting, for the PCs, is its size and its position. Orethys only captured as much land as he needed to fully capture these tiny men and their underground lair - and that’s not much land. So this island is only about ten feet in diameter.
This floating island is positioned about thirty feet below Reggie’s Boots. If you’re on Reggie’s island, you can peer over the edge and see this tiny island below. But actually getting onto this tiny island is a tricky problem. If you dangle a rope down from the edge of the large exhibit, it will not reach the tiny island. It will just hang down into empty space. If you extend the rope too far, it will dangle down into the mist at the edge of the cavern. See the diagram below, showing the large island, this tiny island, and a rope dangling from the large island.
If the rope touches the mist, that’s not a big deal, it is unaffected by the mist. But if a person enters the mist, they will vanish and respawn back at the Tavern of the South Gate. That’s probably not what the PC wanted to do. Swinging the rope is not helpful - the PC hanging from the swinging rope will swing into the mist before they swing onto the tiny island. The most likely solution will involve tying a rope that hangs underneath the large island, like this:
{width="2.307292213473316in"
height="2.307292213473316in"}
Actually getting a rope installed like that is tricky. The easiest way to do it is to walk around on the underside of the large exhibit using spider climb. But it is possible to do it without any magic at all. If two people hold the two ends of the rope, and they push the middle of the rope off the edge of the large exhibit, and then the two people walk to opposite sides of the large exhibit, they can get the rope into position.
Another possible issue is that some PCs may not be strong enough to “hand-over-hand” down the rope. In that case, it may be necessary to rig up some sort of harness.
Of course, it may also be possible to invent other solutions entirely. Give the PCs room to be inventive here, and try to respect their solutions, even if those solutions aren’t entirely logical. If the PCs come up with a solution that makes sense to them, then let them have their small triumph. They need to succeed here, so make sure they do succeed.
Bottom Floor: Guest Services
When you enter the front door of guest services, you are in the dining hall. There is a dinner table with seating for eight, and a nicely stocked buffet table. On the rear wall, there is a ten-foot-tall painting of Orethys, who as it turns out, was an aarakocra. In the corners of the room are pedestals with busts of Orethys. He did not have a small opinion of himself.
The fact that Orethys was an aarakocra explains a few things. Aarakocras originate from the elemental plane of air. Any land in the elemental plane of air naturally forms a floating island. When Orethys created this demiplane, it naturally took on several of the characteristics of the plane of air, because that’s what Orethys was familiar with. The fact that he, his guests, and his caretakers were aarakocras explains why he did not provide any mechanism to fly from one island to island: they could already fly.
Around the dining room are other areas. A door leads to a clean restroom. A corridor leads to a row of bed chambers with well-made beds. An open archway leads to Featured Exhibits. All three areas are clearly labeled.
Guest services is in stasis, like everything else in the demiplane. The bathrooms always return to their clean state, the buffet table replenishes itself, and the beds remake themselves. Convenient!
The archway labeled Featured Exhibits leads to a large room. Just inside the archway is a pedestal, with a guidebook on it. Like everything else in the museum, the pedestal is in stasis. If you take away the guidebook, then next time you look, there will be another guidebook on the pedestal. With the help of this magic, you can get as many guidebooks as you want. The guidebook is described in the chapter Magic Items in Guest Services.
Also close to the archway is a second pedestal containing what looks like a tiny branding iron. The stabilization iron can apply a glyph to any object taken from an exhibit. Whereas an object taken from an exhibit will tend to vanish if you stop paying attention to it for an hour or two, an object with a stabilization glyph will last three or four days. The iron is described in Magic Items in Guest Services.
The back of the Featured Exhibits room divides into two showrooms.
One showroom is labeled Monsters of Divine Beauty, which contains readable information about three of the floating islands: The Harpy Eyrie, The Golden Goats of Olympus, and The Medusa’s Visage. All of these exhibits are described in subsequent chapters*.* The walls of the showroom are covered in paintings of the three creatures, and there are three large posters containing the guidebook blurbs for these three islands. There is also a chest containing stuff meant to be used at the harpy exhibit.
The other showroom is Innately Magical Craftspeople, which contains information about Claren’s Tapestries, Reggie’s Boots, and The Wasted Wino. There are paintings of the three craftspeople at work, paintings of their work, and again, three posterboards containing the guidebook blurbs.
Most of those exhibits have already been listed in this chapter, The Bottom Floors of the Museum. The exception is the medusa exhibit, which is listed a little later, in the Escaping the Museum chapter. This book includes an appendix, The Posters in Guest Services, which contains copies of the relevant blurbs. You can easily print out the appendix and hand it to your players.
In the back of the Featured Exhibits room is a locked door that says “caretakers only.” In the event that the players manage to pick the lock, they will find a closet containing a small pedestal. On the pedestal is the Capture Device. The PCs can’t do anything useful with the capture device yet, because it doesn’t work inside the museum, but if they want to examine it, they can. It is described in the upcoming chapter Magic Items in Guest Services.
Because guest services has bed chambers, it is an excellent place for a long rest. If the players do take a long rest, they experience their next deck-related feat: Deck Dreaming.
People who have drawn cards from the deck are all telepathically linked. A deck dream is actually a true vision of what is happening to somebody else who drew cards from the deck, as seen through the eyes of that person. If the players remember the deck dreams they have, this will give them a preview of several of the NPCs they will meet later in the campaign. It will also allow them to have insights into how to handle those NPCs. The deck dreams that the PCs can experience are all listed in the upcoming chapter, The Deck Dreamers. Feel free to skip ahead and look over the options.
Now that the players have a guidebook, the most obvious next step is to go talk to Diometron.
